


Dad Knows

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean, Boys Kissing, Dean is a Smoker, Homophobic John Winchester, Internalized Homophobia, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Past Abuse, Sam Ships It, Season/Series 11 Spoilers, Supportive Bobby, Supportive Sam, mild drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 01:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7824433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A look into what makes Dean so reluctant to accept himself and admit his feelings for Cas. One father rejects him, one father accepts him, and THE father blesses him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dad Knows

Ever the precocious little brother, Sam Winchester was going to find out why big brother Dean cut out of school. He may be a senior but since Sammy was a freshman he was supposed to stay somewhat close.

 

He checked the ‘smoke shack’ out by the football field. He didn’t think Dean smoked but it was a haven for fellow delinquents. But, he wasn’t there and the puffers looked at him like he was a stray, mangy dog.  _ Losers. _

 

Sam thought he caught a glimpse of Dean’s leather jacket. Someone who could be his brother was ducking into the concession stand. He decided to go sneak a peek.

 

He knew how to be quiet. He and Dean had become experts at trailing. He slipped into the same unlocked door. He used his short stature to duck and make his way to the storage area. There was Dean, sharing a joint with another guy. Only they were taking turns blowing the smoke into each other’s mouths. Sam’s jaw dropped when he saw that lead to some pretty intense kissing between the two.

 

_ No way! Dean’s gay? Or does he just not care because he’s high?  _ Sam was frozen. He shouldn’t be watching. He should be leaving. He was too nervous now. He’d mess up and make noise. Instead he balled himself up under a counter to wait it out and slip away when they left.

 

Sam let Dean get back to the motel room first. He wasn’t far behind but he wanted his brother to freak out a little that he wasn’t sitting at the small table doing homework. When he saw Dean barge out of the room and grip his hair in panic, he casually walked up like nothing was wrong.

 

“Where the hell were you?” Dean demanded. He grabbed Sam’s sleeve and pulled him into the room. 

 

“Out.”

 

“Don’t pull that shit with me Sam. What if Dad had come back? Huh? You think I like sitting in the guidance counselor’s office with a fresh shiner and let her think I’m some JD who gets in fights for the fun of it?” 

 

“You left me first! You cut school and you’re supposed to be watching out for me.”

 

“Yeah? Well I might have left the building but I was still close, bitch.”

 

“And high. I saw you smoking weed, Dean.”

Dean felt a full on panic attack approaching. He broke out in a sweat, his chest tightened and hurt. He thought his heart was pounding hard enough to crack ribs. He sank onto the bed to keep from passing out when his head started spinning.

 

“What else did you see?” He barely got the words out. His mouth was dry. He started shaking.

 

“I saw you kissing him. Why didn’t you tell me you’re gay?”

 

“Because I’m not, Sammy. I like chicks. I’ve  _ been _ with chicks. I just like to mess around with dudes too.” It was the first time he’d admitted it to anyone. “You can’t tell Dad. Please, Sammy. He can’t know. He’ll think I’m weak or something or that I can’t take care of you.” He was near tears.

 

Sam sat down next to his big brother. “I won’t, Dean. But I don’t think Dad would get mad like that. He loves us.”

 

How Dean appreciated the bit of innocence in his kid brother. He’d sheltered Sam from a lot of the darker side of John Winchester. He wasn’t around when John was drunk and lost his filter. Dean tried to tell himself that it was because things were different when his dad was growing up. He also had convinced himself it was no big deal as long as he wasn’t taking dick.

 

John showed up three days later to pack them up and roll on to another job in another town. 

 

_ FIVE YEARS LATER _

 

“Sammy?”

 

“Dean,” Sam answered thinly on the phone. He hadn’t spoken to his brother or his father since he packed his stuff and hitched out to California. He had a new life, new friends. 

 

“It’s Dad. He found out. He found out about me,” Dean sobbed into the phone. He was in a phone booth about a block from a hospital. He didn’t know who else to call. Sam had sent Bobby his number for emergencies and Dean was the only one he’d seen fit to share it with.

 

“Fuck. Are you okay? What happened?”

 

Dean took a long, painful drag from his cigarette. The filter was bloody from his split lip but it helped calm him. He’d taken it up shortly after Sam had left. “I fucked up, Sam. I was flirting with this guy for information for our case. Dad was uncomfortable but you know I use the pretty boy routine all the time. But the guy, he slipped me his number and I called it when Dad went out.”

 

Sam was quiet. His jaw was clenched, bile rose in his throat. He wanted to punch his father square in the face. “Where are you now?”

 

“Not far from the ER in Eugene, Oregon. I’m banged up pretty bad but I don’t want to file a police report.”

 

“Dean, tell them you got mugged, didn’t get a good look at the guy. Use a fake name. Duck out after they patch you up. You got a credit card? Some cash?”

 

“Both.”

 

“Good. Hop on a bus and come out here for a few days.”

 

“I can’t do that, Sammy. It’ll just be dragging you into this shitstorm and you got it decent out there. I don’t want him anywhere near you.”

 

“Dean, I don’t know what to do here,” Sam admitted. 

 

“I don’t know, either, Sam. Maybe I’ll just lay low for a couple days and tell him it was a one time thing.”

 

“But it’s not. It’s who you are. Just walk away.”

 

“Not that easy for a high school dropout with less than marketable skills.”

 

“Then call Uncle Bobby. Go work in his shop or something. Put some distance between you and Dad. At least for a little while.”

 

“Yeah, I can boost a car or something.” Dean put out his smoke. “Listen, thanks for picking up. Been too long since I heard your voice.”

 

“It has. I just want you to be okay, okay?”

 

“I want that for you too. Call you again soon, Bitch.”

 

“Bye, Jerk.”

_ THREE DAYS LATER _

 

Dean had managed to break back into the motel room and grab his meager duffel bag of belongings. He found a truck that he doubted anybody would bother reporting stolen and headed across the country to South Dakota. He stopped at a CVS outside of town for some aspirin, water, and basic first aid. He patched himself up in a truck stop bathroom and looked like he’d lost a prizefight when he showed up on Bobby Singer’s doorstep.

 

“Good lord, boy,” he said at the sight. “Get your skinny carcass in here. There’s some chili on the stove and cornbread in the oven.”  

 

The good thing about his Uncle Bobby, well not his biological uncle but the only one he’d ever known, was that he wasn’t one to push. He sat at the table in the kitchen across from Dean and nursed a beer while the kid downed two full bowls and a few cornbread muffins. Must have been starving.

 

After Dean cleaned up his own dishes, Bobby offered him a cold one and he was ready to open up a bit.

 

“You need a hand in the garage for a little while?” Dean started.

 

“Can’t pay you much but I could always use a hand.”

 

“Just need room and board for now.”

 

“Your daddy know where you are?”

 

“No, Sir. And I’d like to keep it that way. At least for a while.”

 

Bobby’s eyes went hard and rage flashed across them. Dean flinched and Bobby almost teared up. “He did that to you?”

 

Dean put his head down, ashamed. “Yes, Sir.”

 

“You wanna tell me what happened?”

 

“Not really, Uncle Bobby.”  But something told Dean it would be okay and that Bobby wouldn’t judge him the way his father had. He hid his face in his hands, craving a smoke before he had that conversation. “He found out something about me, something he didn’t like.”

Bobby stood up, walked over to the cupboard, and brought down a bottle of whisky and two glasses. He poured one for each of them and left the bottle in the middle. He suspected what little tidbit about his nephew John lost his shit over and if he was right it was gonna be pretty damn hard for the boy to say out loud.

 

“I’ve had to use my looks. Always me to chat up and flirt to either distract them while Dad snoops around or to get some information for a case. It just comes easy. I can’t help it if I wind up with a few phone numbers.”  He sipped the dark liquid and the burn felt good down his throat. “I called one. I called one for a quick hookup because I thought Dad would be out on the hunt all night. He wasn’t.” Dean finished his drink and looked to Bobby for permission for another. “He walked in on me.” Dean closed his eyes and let out his breath. “He walked in on me with a guy.” He opened his eyes to check Bobby’s reaction. 

 

“Oh, son. That stupid sonofabitch!” He slapped the table. Dean recoiled. Kid was shell-shocked. John had probably been smacking him around for years. “He sets one foot in my yard I’m putting a round of rock salt in his ass. You stay as long as you like, boy. You’re gonna be safe here.”

 

Dean’s eyes glistened. “I’m sorry, Bobby. I shouldn’t have fucked up like that. I should have known better.”

 

Bobby was up and on Dean before he could process it. He was being hugged tight by the surly man in the old trucker hat. It took him a minute to remember how to hug back. “You ain’t done nothing wrong. John was wrong and don’t you ever forget that. Ain’t how you treat family.” 

 

Dean felt like there were only two people on the planet who loved him, his brother Sam and his Uncle Bobby. When Bobby turned him loose he walked out and sat on the front steps. He pulled out a cigarette. Bobby peeked through the curtain and shook his head. He had some work cut out for him. He hoped to undo some of the damage John did to that kid.

 

Of course when John did show up a few months later Dean went with him. They never spoke of it again. John pretended it never happened and Dean decided it would just be easier to stick to girls from then on. John was more distant than he’d ever been but he never laid another hand on Dean again. 

 

_ MANY YEARS LATER _

 

Sam had watched his brother struggle for years. Dean was a flirt by nature. He couldn’t help it. But he’d quickly backtrack if a man flirted back. The ghost of John Winchester haunted him. It’s like he had to kill off a part of himself to finally win John’s approval. He was never quite the same.

 

It was obvious to Sam that his brother was in love with the angel. It wasn’t just sexual tension. Cas was it for Dean. Had to be. But he kept up his man whoring and getting shit-faced drunk to keep him numb to the feelings. He shut Sam down any time he tried to bring it up. 

 

But there would always be some force keeping Dean and Cas apart. Every time Sam thought they were close to breaking that wall another brick went up. Sam was forced to stand by and watch the longing looks at each other. He heard his brother cry out for Cas in his sleep. He watched an angel fall in every possible way. 

 

When Cas allowed himself to be possessed by by Lucifer it nearly broke Dean again. This time he’d been more open, more honest with Sam about what was going on with him. They’d started trusting each other again.

 

“I have to get him back. I can’t just do nothing.”

 

“I know, Dean. We will. We’ll figure this out.”

 

“You don’t understand.”

 

“Yes, I do,” Sam sighed. Dean was laying flat on his back next to him on the hood of the Impala. “You’re in love with him. If you can get through and tell him that he’ll come back for you.”

 

“No he won’t. He’ll hate me and he’ll go even deeper in his brain or give up altogether.”

 

Sam was stunned. “First, that’s the first time you haven’t blatantly denied your feelings for him. And second, he fought off Lucifer to protect me so you know he’d go above and beyond for you. Why do you think he said yes in the first place? He did it so he could use Lucifer as a weapon against Amara. He did it for you.”

 

“I’m tired, Sam. I’ve lived over a hundred years when you count up heaven, hell, purgatory...the empty. I’m tired. After meeting Jesse and Cesar...it doesn’t matter anymore. World’s changed. Less John Winchesters in the world and a lot more Sams. I know I  _ can _ be myself and be with Cas but he deserves a shit ton better than me.”

 

“Don’t say that.”

 

“Why not? All I’ve ever done is hurt him and push him away. To tell him now? It’s just...cruel. I can’t. I just can’t.”

 

So Sam let it be. There was no convincing his brother that he was a good man who deserved the love and happiness he would find with Castiel.

 

_ NOW _

 

Mary was like a wild animal, feral. She’d flipped Dean to the ground and relieved him of the knife in his boot. Her hunter instincts kicked in. He regained his composure and tried to talk her down, explaining the situation. Once he convinced her to come with him they managed to walk far enough to get signal for his phone. She watched in wonderment as he talked into a thin, rectangular piece of plastic. First he left a message for Sam, the name of her infant son, and then someone named Cas.

 

She heard a flutter of wings like a flock of birds were about to land and a man who looked like an accountant appeared. He ran toward Dean and threw his arms around him. They hugged each other tight and the dark haired man cried into Dean’s shoulder.

 

“I thought...the sun...you were dead.”

 

Dean wiped the tears from his eyes tenderly. “I’m still here. Chuck and Amara made up. Chuck zapped all those souls in my chest upstairs.” His eyes went wide. “You got your wings back! Cas!” Without thinking he grabbed Cas’ face in both hands and kissed him for the first time. He kissed him like he should have kissed him all those years ago when he realized he loved him. 

 

Cas lowered his hands to Dean’s waist and kissed back. Hours before he was told he was cared for as a brother and he took it. He knew Dean had no greater love for another human than for his brother Sam. But this, this is something he’d silently wished for, prayed to his father for. Perhaps Dean’s awakening was that prayer finally answered.

 

When they finally broke apart, Dean looked over Castiel’s shoulder at his stunned mother. He’d learned that his surrogate father loved him for who he was. His brother and the big man Chuck loved him and accepted him. If Mary couldn’t then it was her loss because he wasn’t living another minute of his life without Cas having an equal part in it.

 

“Cas, this is my mother, Mary Campbell Winchester. Mom, this is my boyfriend, Castiel, angel of the lord.” He beamed.

 

Mary walked a few steps toward them, somewhat hesitantly. She reached a hand up to Cas’ cheek and smiled at him. “I always told Dean angels were watching over him, and you were.”


End file.
